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I got an email from my sister last week. Rather it was a note she dictated and had her friend send as I would be less likely to just delete something that appeared to be from her friend. She was right. It seems Abby just can't bear the idea of never talking to me again. She's sorry for "every shitty thing" that's ever happened to me, including my (genetic) illness--and I've been waiting for that apology from her because, you know, I live my every day pissed about that, and it is so her fault. The whole kidnapping thing--which she failed to mention at all--is a mere drop in my bucket 'o' wrongs compared to the genetic defect she had no part in. I feel vindicated now.
Anyway, blah blah blah, '...this is coming from me, not mom. You and mom are seperate from me and you...' Huh. Funny, because to the best of my recollection, it was her and mom that were in each other's pockets and I who was left in the proverbial cold during the plot to steal my kids. Any family unity that may have included me escaped my fucking attention that day.
So that email, which I have no intention of responding to, got me to speculating that mom and abby must be fighting. With those two, a common enemy makes friends and, as history shows, the three of us have never all gotten along for any appreciable amount of time. The fact that abby is reaching out to me at all strongly suggests that she is (temporarily) in the mom-hating mode. And if I reach back, I'll hear all about how crazy mom is and how really abby tried to stop her from stealing my kids and how she's been posessed and oppressed by mom and she was blind but now she sees how right I am and how wrong mom is and all will be right with the world. Until they make up. Then I'll be the odd man out again and they'll realize that it has indeed been too long since they've sent police to my house.
Did you hear the knock at my door? It was the mail lady, requiring my signature for a certified letter. Do I really have to come out and say it was from my mother, or did you guess? She's sorry I FEEL she tried to take my kids. There's also a tiny bit about 'sorry I interfered with you and Justin' and the rest is all about how guilty she feels over David molesting us and she feels guilty and she has guilt and some guilt and hi, guilt and she can't let go of the guilt. And she feels guilty, too.
Trying to steal kids apparently doesn't tweak her conscience much, though.
So, my conclusion is that they're either fighting and when they make up, I'll be S.O.L., or they're plotting together and oh hi axe waiting to fall on my head. I think I'll take a pass on this roller coaster ride from the pits of hell. But hey, mom? Abby? Thanks for the offer.
design by fergie
Bits of fire in the sky push me east back home. I used to live in flames
but it's hard on the wings. Choke me. Smoke me. Scare me back. You try
but you just can't. I peel the layers in my spare time, and you're easy
to see through. I can fly, I've discovered on my own. I may be the lesser
butterfly but my wings are just as strong. Who are you to tell me to find
a place to land? I may be the lesser butterfly but baby watch me glide.
