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Dear Uncle Fergie~

Mommy Gitter said that we should write to you and thank you for the invitation to summer with you in sunny Los Angeles. We would very much like to fly out in your private jet. Mommy Glitter says it should be out of the shop by then. Sister Glitz and I are looking forward to being exposed to all the cultural experiences that L.A. has to offer. We are saving our money and would very much enjoy a trip to the mall of your choice so we can purchase a small souvenir.

We love you, Uncle Fergie!

~~Sister Golden Hair Surprise

P.S. Queenie Mama already proofread this shit and told me to hit send. Now she's off sipping the champ you sent for New Year's, so let's just get something straight, shall we? Culture my 6 year old foot! You're taking us to close down every bar in WeHo. Got that? Yeah. Keep up. We're hitting every store with a door for the shopping spree of our lives, and we're not spending a penny. And you can take your summer school and shove it straight up your ass, man.

Toodles!

design by fergie

Bits of fire in the sky push me east back home. I used to live in flames but it's hard on the wings. Choke me. Smoke me. Scare me back. You try but you just can't. I peel the layers in my spare time, and you're easy to see through. I can fly, I've discovered on my own. I may be the lesser butterfly but my wings are just as strong. Who are you to tell me to find a place to land? I may be the lesser butterfly but baby watch me glide.